so that wasnt chicken after all
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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