Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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