I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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