he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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