weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
