Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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