K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
