Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bring me that man meat
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
