I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
