so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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