If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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