it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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