just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
