he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
