who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
