It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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