smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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