Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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