FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
