i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
