grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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