Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
