my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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