Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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