Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
