Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
