I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He better not be in your backpack
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
