pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
