Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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