Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
