Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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