Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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