when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
