I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
