I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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