were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
