There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
