Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
