Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
