Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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