WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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