If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
