Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
