At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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