The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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