I heard we made out
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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