she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
