i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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