Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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