I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
