i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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