I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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