actually, I'm a sock model
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
