Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
