I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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