Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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