Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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