She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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